I LOVE the fall. LOVE IT.
Yet part of me is in denial that we could possibly be in October already. But it's true, I know it is.
So I was out this morning for my walk/run/justgetyourassoutthere, and as I looked at my watch and noticed my pace I realized how much progress I've made.
I may need to explain that a bit better.
For the past several years I've been fighting the "IT MUST BE PERFECT TO COUNT" battle when it comes to eating right and exercise. Which of course is complete and total bullshit, but man the system has us set up to believe it every step of the way.
While I've been working hard to unlearn a lot of things, the 'IT MUST BE PERFECT TO COUNT" battle is trickier than others. She's a crafty little bitch that will creep into the corners of my mind and with her whisperings about what I should do, and how I could be better...she starts off very motivational at first...but if left unchecked she gets a bit aggressive.
Like with exercise, if I was training to run a race I would have a training plan to follow. I would have my goals and know what my pace would have to be to hit each new PR. But then I would let the need to make the plan be PERFECT make me crazy. If I missed a day, or couldn't complete a run as I set out my plan was RUINED.
That would leave me with the totally reasonable options (in my mind) of scrapping the entire plan or starting over. (Yeah, I know. Stupid crazy Perfection voice.)
So back to this week - yesterday when I went out I just walked. No plan. Didn't think I'd be able to get a workout in, and then carved out some time while waiting for the kids.
Today I started out walking and then ran some. No plan, no goals, no pace to hit or maintain. Just listening to my body and moving accordingly. Working out, getting it done, just like that.
When I looked at my watch to check my heart rate and noticed my pace, and didn't immediately freak out about how much I should be able to improve my next mile, I felt this sensation of relief.
And I just relaxed into it and ENJOYED the rest of my freaking run.
I was out there because I KNOW that moving my body is good for me. Because I feel amazing for doing it. It's not to punish myself, or to burn XXX amount of calories. Just getting out there is a win. That is perfect enough. :)
Life is very full right now, and I know how easy it is to push self care aside. So being able to find the time, energy and HAPPINESS in doing what I can, when I can is a major milestone for me. I'm sure that I'll find time for more training plans and structured goals again in the future, but for right now, this feels like a good groove.
Progress over perfection my friends. :)
You can live a healthy lifestyle in the real world without giving up everything that makes you happy.